Experienced the Beirut port explosion firsthand, a moment that drastically altered my life trajectory
In the heart of Lebanon, the area of Gemmayzeh is thriving once again, a testament to resilience and determination. Yet, for one speaker, the city's recovery has been a bittersweet journey.
Five years ago, on August 4, 2020, a devastating explosion rocked Beirut port, causing widespread destruction and loss. The speaker, who was then living abroad, watched the events unfold from a balcony in the hills, feeling a sense of helplessness as they saw the smoke rising from their hometown.
The speaker's relationship with Lebanon was previously defined by the trauma they hadn't lived. The blast, however, left an emotional impact, even though they lost nothing physically. In the hours after the blast, they sent frantic voice notes to their wife in London, expressing their fear and concern.
The speaker's father, who worked at the offices of An-Nahar by the port that day, was unharmed. Yet, the speaker never went back to collect the debris from their office, a symbol of the past that they chose to leave behind.
The blast damaged buildings 10km away from the site of the explosion, turning Beirut into a city of the walking dead for weeks. The speaker witnessed bloodied survivors walking through the streets they call home in the footage after the blast, an image that has stayed with them.
The speaker avoided messaging their sister in Paris to not bring her into the situation, but the guilt lingered. Five years on, they still feel guilty, as the ongoing genocide of Palestinians, destruction wrought on Lebanon by Israel, and sectarian violence in Syria continue.
The blast and the lack of accountability that followed were caused by chronic neglect and corruption. The speaker believes that the trauma should be used to prevent such events from happening again. They feel that it is important to mark and memorialise the blast to honor those who lost everything.
Fortunately, the fears of developers destroying the heritage of Gemmayzeh have proven unfounded. Architects have stepped in to ensure the restoration of Gemmayzeh just as it was. The city, once again, is bustling with life, a testament to the Lebanese spirit of resilience.
Yet, the speaker's relationship with Lebanon has been strained, and they feel guilty for trying to forget the trauma of the blast. They have only returned to Lebanon since the blast for funerals and family emergencies.
The Beirut explosion was caused by the improper storage of approximately 2,750 tons of ammonium nitrate in a port warehouse, which detonated after a fire broke out nearby. The impact was devastating, with at least 218 lives lost, around 7,000 injured, and around 300,000 residents displaced. The blast caused massive physical destruction, estimated by the World Bank to have inflicted damage worth between $3.8 billion and $4.6 billion.
Despite investigations, no officials had been held accountable as of five years later. However, renewed efforts for justice emerged with a new government in 2025. The explosion intensified Lebanon’s ongoing political and economic crises, triggering widespread political unrest, amplifying public outrage over governmental negligence and corruption, and further compounding the socioeconomic hardships already worsened by the COVID-19 pandemic and prior economic recession.
Five years on, the speaker continues to grapple with the emotional impact of the blast, a poignant reminder of the human cost of neglect and corruption. Yet, they also find hope in the city's resilience, a testament to the Lebanese spirit that continues to thrive despite the challenges.
- In the aftermath of the explosion, the speaker shared their fear and concern with their wife in voice notes, despite being abroad.
- The blast damaged buildings 10km away from the port, turning Beirut into a city that resembled the walking dead for weeks.
- Despite the trauma, the speaker believes that the blast should be used as a catalyst for change to prevent future events.
- The debris from the speaker's office in An-Nahar remains untouched as a symbol of the past they chose to leave behind.
- The general news of ongoing genocide of Palestinians, destruction in Syria, and crime-and-justice issues continue to weigh heavily on the speaker's mind.
- The speaker feels a sense of guilt for not messaging their sister in Paris during the crisis, despite wanting to shield her from the situation.
- Video footage after the blast showed bloodied survivors walking through the streets of Beirut, an image that has stayed with the speaker.
- The speaker still finds it hard to return to Lebanon, other than for funerals and family emergencies, due to the emotional toll of the blast.
